As some of you may remember the first idea to start a blog came in early 2007 when Big Dave Friedman created a few versions of Blog DF. The Blog then was named Blog Z and lasted a few months before fizzling out. Well as you know the Blog is back, this time as BZ Nation, and out of respect for its past we will honor Blog Z by republishing some of its original posts. This first repost was a popular read resulting from an adventurous trip to Boston. I hope you enjoy it....again.
“Public Session Protocol”
A few weeks back I woke up on a Saturday morning with a slight urge to evacuate my bowels. Not thinking twice, I put off this urge because I knew my wife and I were in a bit of hurry to get on the road and execute our plans of traveling to Boston to visit one my wife’s friends from college, take in an afternoon basketball game between their alma mater, Virginia, and Boston College and then enjoy a night out on the town. After being on the road for a good hour I realized this was obviously going to be a busy day and my surroundings were inevitably going to make a good session on the John near impossible. I began to panic but was not in a situation yet where it was going to be more than just an uncomfortable inconvenience.
The day started out perfectly with a nice drive through New England, a delicious, greasy grilled cheese for lunch at a local Boston eatery, an easy ride on the T to the basketball game and a competitive contest on the hardwood. It wasn’t until about halftime when the grilled cheese hit the spot in my stomach that caused the urge to evacuate to return. Being at a basketball game I knew there was no way I wanted to take a quick seat and decided to put off the inevitable as long as possible. After the game we decided to go out for a few afternoon drinks at a local sports bar before dinner. We found a nice spot on Commonwealth Avenue, had a few adult beverages, and watched the majority of the NFL Playoff game between the Indianapolis Colts and the Baltimore Ravens. My urge was consistent but not in emergency mode. After about five or six drinks we took off from the bar for an 8:00 dinner reservation. I ate a light dinner and put down a few more brews at an Italian Tapas Restaurant (that boys is for another Blog) that Carter’s friend had picked out. Then following supper the ladies and I proceeded directly to a popular watering hole next door. This is where the night came to a head.
I had a few more drinks with the girls and pounded a few shots of Jagger with Carter’s friend before I got the nerve to finally decide that waiting to get on the commode was no longer an option. I had a good enough buzz going where I no longer cared what Carter’s friend thought of me and my sanitary concerns had been eased about the time I had finished my tenth beer. So I chugged what was left of my drink and told the women I would be back in a few minutes. I then made my way over to a one room restroom with one urinal, one toilet, and one sink, all separated by a good ‘ol air partition. At this point I wanted to turn and run for the hills but I had made my decision and when your mind is made up in that situation there is no turning back. I bolted the door and sat down to get the job done. Now after taking my seat I knew this was not going to be a 30 second timeout, when you let something of this magnitude simmer for over 12 hours you are going to have to take your medicine and put in a good 10-15 minutes. I was prepared for this and after getting over the initial shock of actually dropping a bomb in a bar I actually became very comfortable and was enjoying a quality session. At least until the door started rattling.
Initially, I was ignoring the knock on the doors and yells to hurry up but after they became more frequent and it seemed the hinges on the doors could break off any second I was enraged to the point I was screaming back “Chill the fuck out”. At this point I was drunk, shitting in a bar, and being harassed by a posse of drunken Bostonians who sounded like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting, a definite recipe for disaster if you know anything about my personality. The stubborn, hot headed guy I am I did not hurry, in fact I took my sweet ass time, despite the call for my head becoming louder and louder. I finally finished up; made sure it was appropriate to slide my boxers back into place and decided these pricks would continue to wait. I then did my best Daniel Russo imitation on the bathroom door, screamed a few words I learned from Jesse Wilburn in 7th grade through the wood, slowly washed my hands and prepared to take on the world.
I then proceeded to open the door and was ready to come jaw to jaw with anyone who had anything to say. That is exactly what happened. I was yelling something along the lines of “what the fuck is your problem” and was getting a face full of “You fucken idiot you never lock the door at a bar”. This got me going even more; don’t lock the door at a bar? Yeah right, I am going to let all these red haired guidos parade in and out of a bathroom with my pants around my ankles. I let him hear it more until we both were separated and sent our own ways. It was right then I realized I had not taken into account when you are at a bar almost every guy in the place pisses once an hour. I found this out the hard way. After arguing with douche bag #1 I looked up and saw a line at least 40 guys deep waiting for the bathroom. Each one of them had some comment for me as I walked by and I in turn had a mouthful for them. Each and every one of them suggested I should have left the door open and let them take turns bleeding the lizard as I sit and enjoy the poor man’s peep show. Finally, I made it back to the girls told them every guy in here is going to come try to beat my ass as soon as that line for the bathroom shrinks and we better find a new spot to spend the rest of the evening. I did tell them the story and they did tend to agree I handled the situation correctly, but as guys what do you think? Is there protocol for dropping a load in a restroom with no partition? Does it matter if you are at a bar where people are more inclined to have to relieve themselves? Would you let a parade of strangers come in one by one to watch you shit while exposing your junk to the entire establishment with each opening of the door? Would you ever want to piss in that situation? I am not sure there is an answer but I promise you one thing if I ever find myself in that situation again, I will handle it the exact same way. I just might be a little more prepared to deal with the consequences.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The End of an Era
This morning for the first time in my 18 years since I reached puberty I did not reach under the bathroom counter, grab the cold metal bronze can, shake her twice to loosen up whatever it is exactly her contents are, and spray the cold mist under both arms and across my chest for good measure. No, on January 15, 2009 my status as the the last male over the age of 15 and under the age of 73 to use the Right Guard Regular Sport Spray Deodorant came to a close. After my shower for the first time in my life I took the plunge and made the switch to the Right Guard Sport Clear Gel.It is very difficult to give up something you have cherished for so long, something that is one of the only things that has literally stuck with you through everything you have been through since you hit 7th grade. I sprayed that can under my arms after I broke Dean Florakis's arm in a post gym class pile on, I pulled 'Ol Bronzy out of a gym bag after every single one of the 51 losses I contributed to on the high school hardwood, and that cold can was there for me every time I woke from a long night of smoke filled bars and basements to make me at least think I was smelling ok. That aerosol has been from Dothan to Morgantown with stops in Williamsburg, Lynchburg, Tampa, Harrisonburg, West Point, and Norfolk along the way. She was in London to greet me after I got my head bashed in and she was there to congratulate me in a hotel room in Charlottesville the night after I got married. That old bronze can has served many purposes over the past two decades but most of all it has been a friend.
This is a decision that will not be a popular one because of the impact it will have on people close to me. No longer will my wife be able to say "Don't spray that thing near me." The days are over when my friends are able to use me as some freak show example and tell people "Yeah I know this guy that still uses spray deodorant and he still even uses that shit in the bronze can." This is a day people who know me well thought would never come and I know they will be affected.
This is a decision that I am not 100 percent comfortable with but it one I felt needed to be made. Call it growing up or call it moving on but the bottom line is the gel just feels more healthy. As hard as that is to say, it just feels right. I know the questions will be asked how long will he go and is there any way this will last. In answering those questions I reference the words of Tony Dungy, a man who also made a huge decision this week to bring change to his life, "I don't anticipate it, but we'll see."
So goodbye 'Ol Bronzy. I'll miss the spray downs. I'll miss your scent. I'll miss our friendship. R.I.P
Monday, January 12, 2009
Do You Think Donovan McNabb Is Funny?
Peyton Manning and Donovan McNabb are both great quaterbacks. Donovan McNabb and Peyton Manning are both tremendous examples of professional athletes who are intelligent and well spoken. Donovan McNabb and Peyton Mannning are both wonderful figureheads for their families, teams, and anything else they decide to endorse as a football player or as a person. The difference between Peyton Manning and Donovan McNabb is Peyton Manning is funny and Donovan McNabb is not.
When it comes to being funny Peyton Manning gets it. He knows when to be funny and when he is trying to be humorous it is not forced. Manning takes a few opportunities to be sarcastic or make fun of himself for what he is or what he is not. This works for all of the companies he represents and in turn Manning has benefited from the extra TV time he gets from these spots. Manning's effectiveness in humourous spots are easiest to see when he stars in spots with others who may not be as comfortable. Take a look here at this short NBC Promo with Reggie Bush:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bTAnm95hPQ
Donovan McNabb is not funny. McNabb's humor is forced. There are many times when McNabb is being interviewed in a serious spot and he decides to throw Middle School humor at us. What confuses me is often the media seems to enjoy it and prasies him for his lightheartedness. I think the shame is that in my eyes McNabb's unsuccessful attempt at humor often undermines the intelligent athlete that he is. McNabb's actions when trying to be funny are a kin to Bevis and Butt Head. People think it is funny but I sure do not see it. The best example I can find of this is a charity basketball game where McNabb obviously thinks he needs to get attention.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNh1ejZ3kX0
McNabb's awkward attempts at humor have always annoyed me probably more than it should. I can see how it goes right by the majority of sports fans but take a look over the next few weeks as McNabb is thrust into the spotlight with the success of the Eagles and see if the way he handles himself doesn't rub you the wrong way.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Rumblings
I am jacking the title of this Blog from Chop Culture to provide a few random thoughts to start 2009.
* To start things off I want to send a shot across the bow to the previously mentioned Blog, Chop Culture. A few weeks ago Chop Chiz made the statement that the ACC was "solid" as a football conference in 2008. He also attempted to at least make you wonder if the ACC was comparable to the SEC this year by providing stats on the number of bowl teams the ACC produced and the number of head to head wins they had against the SEC.
Come on Chop. People actually read your Blog and you can't make statements like that if you want people to keep appreciating your Blogging talent. The only thing you got right when you sat down on your computer on December 4th was that the ACC had parity this season. Unfortunately for everyone watching their games most of the teams were so mediocre they beat up on each other. The SEC was top heavy. So top heavy that by the end of the season the Top 5 teams in the SEC would have won the ACC Championship. I am going to save you the boring comparison of teams and lame stats and lets just eyeball this one. Who really thinks the ACC is in the same breath as a football conference as the SEC?
* A depleted West Virginia secondary did one of two things on December 27th in Charlotte. They either saved the ACC from having to watch Hakeem Nicks rip apart their secondary next football season or they created hype for another average receiver who will disappoint fans when their NFL team selects him too early in the draft. Nicks had an unbelievable game against WVU in the Meineke Car Care Bowl with 6 catches for 217 yards and 3 touchdowns but the Mountaineers were missing 2 starters in the secondary and after halftime adjustments Nicks only had 2 catches for 27 yards. I think he should have gone back to Chapel Hill.
* In looking over the recent issue of The Sports Business Journal, I came across a column by John Ourand where he looks at some of the news he believes will be made in sports media in 2009. The most interesting item in this commentary comes when he says the NCAA Tournament will be expanding to 96 teams because the NCAA sees how much money the BCS was able to get in TV deals by expanding to five games. To be exact that was a 5o percent increase over their current deal to $495 million over four years. Ourand says the TV influenced deal will not go into effect until 2013.
* Bob Huggins calls the Big East in 2008-2009 the "best basketball conference in the history of the sport." Strong words. With a record nine teams ranked in the Top 25 he has an argument. It will be very tough to tell if he is right over the next two months when watching these teams beat up on each other. No matter what though New York City will be exciting in March for the Big East Tournament and we won't know if Huggins is on point until the NCAA Tournament starts.
* Tony Rettig has a new nickname. Tony the "Tiger" seems a little to cliched and makes us think he actually breaks 100 on the golf course, so he now going by "Big Cat". This plays on his former Tiger nickname but adds a little creativity.
* To close things out Tony Rettig told me this weekend that his sister's fiancee (I forget his name so we will just call him Johnny Naval Academy) was in a class at Walsingham Academy that threw a birthday party for Coach Caccetta during Gym Class. Genius! I can see it now as he unwraps a Eli Manning jersey and cuts the first piece of cake with the words "Balls In" written in icing. Great job Class of '05 and I wish we would of thought of that.
Happy New Year Everybody!
* To start things off I want to send a shot across the bow to the previously mentioned Blog, Chop Culture. A few weeks ago Chop Chiz made the statement that the ACC was "solid" as a football conference in 2008. He also attempted to at least make you wonder if the ACC was comparable to the SEC this year by providing stats on the number of bowl teams the ACC produced and the number of head to head wins they had against the SEC.
Come on Chop. People actually read your Blog and you can't make statements like that if you want people to keep appreciating your Blogging talent. The only thing you got right when you sat down on your computer on December 4th was that the ACC had parity this season. Unfortunately for everyone watching their games most of the teams were so mediocre they beat up on each other. The SEC was top heavy. So top heavy that by the end of the season the Top 5 teams in the SEC would have won the ACC Championship. I am going to save you the boring comparison of teams and lame stats and lets just eyeball this one. Who really thinks the ACC is in the same breath as a football conference as the SEC?
* A depleted West Virginia secondary did one of two things on December 27th in Charlotte. They either saved the ACC from having to watch Hakeem Nicks rip apart their secondary next football season or they created hype for another average receiver who will disappoint fans when their NFL team selects him too early in the draft. Nicks had an unbelievable game against WVU in the Meineke Car Care Bowl with 6 catches for 217 yards and 3 touchdowns but the Mountaineers were missing 2 starters in the secondary and after halftime adjustments Nicks only had 2 catches for 27 yards. I think he should have gone back to Chapel Hill.
* In looking over the recent issue of The Sports Business Journal, I came across a column by John Ourand where he looks at some of the news he believes will be made in sports media in 2009. The most interesting item in this commentary comes when he says the NCAA Tournament will be expanding to 96 teams because the NCAA sees how much money the BCS was able to get in TV deals by expanding to five games. To be exact that was a 5o percent increase over their current deal to $495 million over four years. Ourand says the TV influenced deal will not go into effect until 2013.
* Bob Huggins calls the Big East in 2008-2009 the "best basketball conference in the history of the sport." Strong words. With a record nine teams ranked in the Top 25 he has an argument. It will be very tough to tell if he is right over the next two months when watching these teams beat up on each other. No matter what though New York City will be exciting in March for the Big East Tournament and we won't know if Huggins is on point until the NCAA Tournament starts.
* Tony Rettig has a new nickname. Tony the "Tiger" seems a little to cliched and makes us think he actually breaks 100 on the golf course, so he now going by "Big Cat". This plays on his former Tiger nickname but adds a little creativity.
* To close things out Tony Rettig told me this weekend that his sister's fiancee (I forget his name so we will just call him Johnny Naval Academy) was in a class at Walsingham Academy that threw a birthday party for Coach Caccetta during Gym Class. Genius! I can see it now as he unwraps a Eli Manning jersey and cuts the first piece of cake with the words "Balls In" written in icing. Great job Class of '05 and I wish we would of thought of that.
Happy New Year Everybody!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
What UVA Football Should Be Wishing For This Christmas
Who am I to tell the University of Virginia what they should be wishing for this Christmas? I am not a fan and to be honest I rout against them more than I cheer for them. The reason I can tell them what they need to be hoping is under the Christmas tree is because I have the plan that will make their football program relevant for the first time since, ever.
All Cavalier fans need to hope they wake up tomorrow, look in their stocking and find a 4-8 2009 football record. This may seem absurd but if the Cavs can find a way to lose to Virginia Tech during the last weekend of November next year and finish off another disappointing season they might be bold enough to put my plan into action.
Hire Mike Tomlin.
This statement by itself seems as likely as my UVA playing in a BCS bowl game next year but if UVA can make a unprecedented commitment, why can't it happen. I think next December UVA's President, Criag Littlepage and Tiki Barber need to board a plane in Charlottesville for Pittsburgh and not come back until Mike Tomlin is their new coach. They need to convince Tomlin that taking this job would be a historic decision that would bring him close to home and show him their commitment by offering him a 20 year contract worth $100 million.
This type of contract is crazy and many outsiders would blast The University for throwing this kind of cash around in these tough economic times. Screw the outsiders, Mike Tomlin is as close too a sure thing in that position as they come and if they were too pull it off the return on their investment would make the contract seem like a bargain by 2015. Tomlin is a sure thing in this job for multiple reasons. First of all he is a hell of a football coach. Secondly, he is a Virginia native with ties to the recruiting hotbed of Hampton Roads. He is also young enough to be able to coach the entirety of the contract and then some. Finally, this would create the a buzz around the program that has never been seen. The Black Coaches Association would be applauding and the national media would be discussing this hire throughout the off season. Twenty years is a long contract and their is some risk involved in making this type of commitment but with the state of the UVA program can it really get any worse?
It is easy to say that Tomlin would say thank you for the offer but I have have one of the best jobs in the NFL with the Pittsburgh Steelers. He very well might say that but he might not. With that kind of security, that kind of historic contract and the ability to be back in Virginia he would consider it. He would owe it to his family and could see it as an opportunity to further the reputation of minority coaches in the college game.
It is a pipe dream and it would be very tough to follow this offer up with a coaching search if he turned the job down. Nonetheless it is the kind of risk Virginia needs to take if they are serious about getting their football program to the next level. I have no doubt this will never be discussed in Charlottesville when Al Groh's time is over but in my mind it should be.
All Cavalier fans need to hope they wake up tomorrow, look in their stocking and find a 4-8 2009 football record. This may seem absurd but if the Cavs can find a way to lose to Virginia Tech during the last weekend of November next year and finish off another disappointing season they might be bold enough to put my plan into action.
Hire Mike Tomlin.
This statement by itself seems as likely as my UVA playing in a BCS bowl game next year but if UVA can make a unprecedented commitment, why can't it happen. I think next December UVA's President, Criag Littlepage and Tiki Barber need to board a plane in Charlottesville for Pittsburgh and not come back until Mike Tomlin is their new coach. They need to convince Tomlin that taking this job would be a historic decision that would bring him close to home and show him their commitment by offering him a 20 year contract worth $100 million.
This type of contract is crazy and many outsiders would blast The University for throwing this kind of cash around in these tough economic times. Screw the outsiders, Mike Tomlin is as close too a sure thing in that position as they come and if they were too pull it off the return on their investment would make the contract seem like a bargain by 2015. Tomlin is a sure thing in this job for multiple reasons. First of all he is a hell of a football coach. Secondly, he is a Virginia native with ties to the recruiting hotbed of Hampton Roads. He is also young enough to be able to coach the entirety of the contract and then some. Finally, this would create the a buzz around the program that has never been seen. The Black Coaches Association would be applauding and the national media would be discussing this hire throughout the off season. Twenty years is a long contract and their is some risk involved in making this type of commitment but with the state of the UVA program can it really get any worse?
It is easy to say that Tomlin would say thank you for the offer but I have have one of the best jobs in the NFL with the Pittsburgh Steelers. He very well might say that but he might not. With that kind of security, that kind of historic contract and the ability to be back in Virginia he would consider it. He would owe it to his family and could see it as an opportunity to further the reputation of minority coaches in the college game.
It is a pipe dream and it would be very tough to follow this offer up with a coaching search if he turned the job down. Nonetheless it is the kind of risk Virginia needs to take if they are serious about getting their football program to the next level. I have no doubt this will never be discussed in Charlottesville when Al Groh's time is over but in my mind it should be.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Racial? Maybe. Embarrassing? No Doubt!
Let's get one thing straight, Tommy Tuberville is a jackass. He is an arrogant, chicken necked SOB. He has gotten under my skin multiple times in the past decade by strolling out of the tunnel each week with his arms locked to players, holding up some number of fingers in the air every time he beat my beloved Crimson Tide, or by simply showing up and talking into a camera. I absolutely loved every second this year as Auburn plummeted from a preseason #8 ranking to a miserable 5-7 record. I loved watching Tommy pout on the sidelines, make excuses in the media, and fight for his job at season's end. I loved to watch Tommy Tuberville fail.
There is a reason I hated Tommy Tuberville so much. The reason was he succeeded. He took an Auburn program that was in turmoil coached by Buster Brown (Terry Bowden, no he was not well endowed that was his tie) and turned them into an SEC front-runner. He took the Tigers to New Year's Bowls and SEC Championship Games, beat Alabama 7 out of 10 times, and came within a computer formula of playing for Auburn's first National Championship since 1957. He had Auburn in a place it had never been before.
Then came 2008. Auburn was warped back to 1998. They were awful on offense, coaches were fired mid-season, and they lost to Vanderbilt. I was in heaven, Alabama was back among the nations elite, Auburn was spending Christmas at home and Tommy Tuberville was finally going to get what he deserved and either be dominated for another year or two or be fired. I actually thought it would be nice for him to stay at Auburn a couple more years so Saban could eat him up and spit him out before Auburn wizened up and found a new coach to be man handled. I honestly thought Tuberville's success at Auburn was over. I expected him to hang on to his job for another mediocre season and then be replaced by an up and coming coach that would lead Auburn back to Top 25 rankings, 7-9 wins a year and a win over Alabama every 3 or 4 years. This is right where I thought Auburn belonged. A decent program that knew they were not a s good as Alabama but was good enough to beat the Tide every few years to keep the rivalry interesting.
Boy was I proven miserably wrong over the past two weeks. I had forgotten one thing: Bobby Lowder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_Lowder). The perfect storm was about to occur for Auburn Football and it could be seen from a mile away that this ship was going down quick. The Cliff Notes of this story goes like this. Bobby Lowder runs Auburn's Athletic Department. Bobby Lowder never liked Tommy Tubberville. Lowder all but had Tuberville fired in 2003 and was set to secretly hire Bobby Petrino until the national media blew the story up and temporarily ended Lowder's plan. Then Tuberville went undefeated, beat Alabama 6 years in a row and postponed the inevitable firing. During this time Lowder continued to work behind the scenes and as one incompetent puppet AD retired he made sure he put in his place a reasonable replacement that knew he only had his job because 'ol Bobby gave it to him. He then waited for Tuberville to have a sub par season and he axed him. Lowder's new toy the current AD, Jay Jacobs, begins a hiring search that is a three ring circus. They interview a few qualified candidates like Mike Leach and Turner Gill but realize they will not be able to control them the way they want to. They then dig a little deeper into the bag and interview some guys whose credentials are suspect but at least have coached winning programs. These guys also want this crazy thing, they want to run their program. So then last Saturday, Lowder, excuse me, Jacbos decides Gene Chizik is their man. The same Gene Chizik that went 5-19 in two years at Iowa St. This hire was far from the respectable guy I thought Auburn could find. This hire was a embarrassment. This was the type of hire I see ruining a program and a great rivalry. This hire will eventually make the Alabama-Auburn rivalry the equivalent of USC-UCLA. Alabama might as well replace the Tigers on the schedule with Troy for the next 10 years if they want a competitive game against an instate team.
The Black Coaches Association, national media and even famous alum Charles Barkley cried racism because an unqualified Chizik was hired over Turner Gill, a black candidate who had tremendous credentials. I don't know about this claim. Sure I don't doubt Lowder is a racist and would not let Auburn hire a black coach let alone a black coach with a white wife but I am more inclined to say Chizik was the only hire Lowder felt like he could control.
So the bottom line is why do I care? I care because Batman needs a Joker, the Yankees need the Red Sox and The Miracle on Ice needed Russia. I loved hating Tommy Tuberville. I could not wait to see Alabama holding up fingers for the next few years to remind Tuberville what a loser he now was. Part of the joy of Alabama being a powerhouse again was paying back Tuberville. I won't get as much enjoyment beating up on a Gene Chizik led squad. I foresee my attitude towards Gene Chizik being similar to George Steinbrenner's attitude toward the Kansas City Royals, one of irrelevance. Don't get me wrong, I will enjoy the next few years of watching this Iowa St. retread run Auburn's football program into the ground but it will eventually ruin a great rivalry. Alabama-Auburn is about hate. Hate is about fear and jealousy. There will not be anything to be scared of or to loathe in Jordan Hare Stadium for a long time. I think watching Gene Chizik fail will be boring.
To see how other Alabama fans feel watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgGA_lazugg
To see if how Auburn fans feel watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7TxIMAwc1k
There is a reason I hated Tommy Tuberville so much. The reason was he succeeded. He took an Auburn program that was in turmoil coached by Buster Brown (Terry Bowden, no he was not well endowed that was his tie) and turned them into an SEC front-runner. He took the Tigers to New Year's Bowls and SEC Championship Games, beat Alabama 7 out of 10 times, and came within a computer formula of playing for Auburn's first National Championship since 1957. He had Auburn in a place it had never been before.
Then came 2008. Auburn was warped back to 1998. They were awful on offense, coaches were fired mid-season, and they lost to Vanderbilt. I was in heaven, Alabama was back among the nations elite, Auburn was spending Christmas at home and Tommy Tuberville was finally going to get what he deserved and either be dominated for another year or two or be fired. I actually thought it would be nice for him to stay at Auburn a couple more years so Saban could eat him up and spit him out before Auburn wizened up and found a new coach to be man handled. I honestly thought Tuberville's success at Auburn was over. I expected him to hang on to his job for another mediocre season and then be replaced by an up and coming coach that would lead Auburn back to Top 25 rankings, 7-9 wins a year and a win over Alabama every 3 or 4 years. This is right where I thought Auburn belonged. A decent program that knew they were not a s good as Alabama but was good enough to beat the Tide every few years to keep the rivalry interesting.
Boy was I proven miserably wrong over the past two weeks. I had forgotten one thing: Bobby Lowder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_Lowder). The perfect storm was about to occur for Auburn Football and it could be seen from a mile away that this ship was going down quick. The Cliff Notes of this story goes like this. Bobby Lowder runs Auburn's Athletic Department. Bobby Lowder never liked Tommy Tubberville. Lowder all but had Tuberville fired in 2003 and was set to secretly hire Bobby Petrino until the national media blew the story up and temporarily ended Lowder's plan. Then Tuberville went undefeated, beat Alabama 6 years in a row and postponed the inevitable firing. During this time Lowder continued to work behind the scenes and as one incompetent puppet AD retired he made sure he put in his place a reasonable replacement that knew he only had his job because 'ol Bobby gave it to him. He then waited for Tuberville to have a sub par season and he axed him. Lowder's new toy the current AD, Jay Jacobs, begins a hiring search that is a three ring circus. They interview a few qualified candidates like Mike Leach and Turner Gill but realize they will not be able to control them the way they want to. They then dig a little deeper into the bag and interview some guys whose credentials are suspect but at least have coached winning programs. These guys also want this crazy thing, they want to run their program. So then last Saturday, Lowder, excuse me, Jacbos decides Gene Chizik is their man. The same Gene Chizik that went 5-19 in two years at Iowa St. This hire was far from the respectable guy I thought Auburn could find. This hire was a embarrassment. This was the type of hire I see ruining a program and a great rivalry. This hire will eventually make the Alabama-Auburn rivalry the equivalent of USC-UCLA. Alabama might as well replace the Tigers on the schedule with Troy for the next 10 years if they want a competitive game against an instate team.
The Black Coaches Association, national media and even famous alum Charles Barkley cried racism because an unqualified Chizik was hired over Turner Gill, a black candidate who had tremendous credentials. I don't know about this claim. Sure I don't doubt Lowder is a racist and would not let Auburn hire a black coach let alone a black coach with a white wife but I am more inclined to say Chizik was the only hire Lowder felt like he could control.
So the bottom line is why do I care? I care because Batman needs a Joker, the Yankees need the Red Sox and The Miracle on Ice needed Russia. I loved hating Tommy Tuberville. I could not wait to see Alabama holding up fingers for the next few years to remind Tuberville what a loser he now was. Part of the joy of Alabama being a powerhouse again was paying back Tuberville. I won't get as much enjoyment beating up on a Gene Chizik led squad. I foresee my attitude towards Gene Chizik being similar to George Steinbrenner's attitude toward the Kansas City Royals, one of irrelevance. Don't get me wrong, I will enjoy the next few years of watching this Iowa St. retread run Auburn's football program into the ground but it will eventually ruin a great rivalry. Alabama-Auburn is about hate. Hate is about fear and jealousy. There will not be anything to be scared of or to loathe in Jordan Hare Stadium for a long time. I think watching Gene Chizik fail will be boring.
To see how other Alabama fans feel watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgGA_lazugg
To see if how Auburn fans feel watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7TxIMAwc1k
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Welcome to Blog Z
Welcome to Blog Z and thank you for taking the time to check in. If you decide to follow The Blog on a regular basis you will find that its contents will often seem very random. Blog Z will very rarely focus on items that the outside world is concerned about but instead will focus on subjects that are important to me and talk about things that I am very passionate about. The format will vary from post to post. Sometimes you might see a bulleted entry then other times you might feel like you are reading a story and you could even be surprised at some point with some poetry like the inaugural post "Twas the Night Before T-Give". Blog Z will not be posted on a regular basis but I hope that when you take the time to stop by that you find what you read interesting. Feed back will always be welcome, just don't expect anything to change. If you care that much, waste your own time and start a blog. Thanks again for stopping by and I hope you enjoy.
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