The End of an Era

This morning for the first time in my 18 years since I reached puberty I did not reach under the bathroom counter, grab the cold metal bronze can, shake her twice to loosen up whatever it is exactly her contents are, and spray the cold mist under both arms and across my chest for good measure. No, on January 15, 2009 my status as the the last male over the age of 15 and under the age of 73 to use the Right Guard Regular Sport Spray Deodorant came to a close. After my shower for the first time in my life I took the plunge and made the switch to the Right Guard Sport Clear Gel.

It is very difficult to give up something you have cherished for so long, something that is one of the only things that has literally stuck with you through everything you have been through since you hit 7th grade. I sprayed that can under my arms after I broke Dean Florakis's arm in a post gym class pile on, I pulled 'Ol Bronzy out of a gym bag after every single one of the 51 losses I contributed to on the high school hardwood, and that cold can was there for me every time I woke from a long night of smoke filled bars and basements to make me at least think I was smelling ok. That aerosol has been from Dothan to Morgantown with stops in Williamsburg, Lynchburg, Tampa, Harrisonburg, West Point, and Norfolk along the way. She was in London to greet me after I got my head bashed in and she was there to congratulate me in a hotel room in Charlottesville the night after I got married. That old bronze can has served many purposes over the past two decades but most of all it has been a friend.

This is a decision that will not be a popular one because of the impact it will have on people close to me. No longer will my wife be able to say "Don't spray that thing near me." The days are over when my friends are able to use me as some freak show example and tell people "Yeah I know this guy that still uses spray deodorant and he still even uses that shit in the bronze can." This is a day people who know me well thought would never come and I know they will be affected.

This is a decision that I am not 100 percent comfortable with but it one I felt needed to be made. Call it growing up or call it moving on but the bottom line is the gel just feels more healthy. As hard as that is to say, it just feels right. I know the questions will be asked how long will he go and is there any way this will last. In answering those questions I reference the words of Tony Dungy, a man who also made a huge decision this week to bring change to his life, "I don't anticipate it, but we'll see."

So goodbye 'Ol Bronzy. I'll miss the spray downs. I'll miss your scent. I'll miss our friendship. R.I.P